Running’s a Pain in the Ass

(Via)

I’m not really worried about getting a nice ass, but running is a pain in the ass.  I hate running.  I hated running in school and I hate it now, but it’s something, right?

Monday was my “rest” day so I only walked a bit.  At work I told my co-workers that I was going to wake up at 5:00AM and hit the pavement no matter how cold, how sore or how tired I was.  I think The Skinny One doubted me and honestly, I totally doubted myself.

On Monday night after dinner was finished, I gathered my running gear and piled it on the couch in the living room.  My husband asked what I was doing, so I told him that I was getting my stuff together so I wouldn’t wake him up the next morning.  He looked at me with big “are you serious” eyes.  I looked back at him, blinked and piled up my stuff.

Monday night to Tuesday morning I slept like shit.  I was up once at least every other hour for something.  I had to pee.  The cats outside were either in heat or fighting.  Mack crawled into our bed.  I had to pee again…lather, rinse, repeat.

The alarm came loud and fast at 5:00AM.  I hit snooze and contemplated.  It’s really warm under these covers, Max is snug as a bug next to my extremely sore legs.  I could sleep another hour.  The alarm went off again, 9 minutes later.  I took a deep breath and got out of bed.  I sleep-walked into the living room and started what will hopefully now become my new routine.

I put band aids on my heels where the skin was ripped.  I put on non-cotton socks at the advice of my Running Coach {M}Cat.  I re-laced my shoes just like she showed me over FaceTime the night before and I got dressed. 

I walked outside and it was dark, cold and wet.  I opened my runkeeper app and started my training.  It always starts with a 5 minute warm up.  I found that the road was wet and just slick enough for someone like me to bust my ass.  I put my foot down with purpose, each step I took.  After the warm-up, I started the day’s training.  Run for one minute and walk for a minute and a half.  Repeat each cycle like that 8 times. 

I took off running.  I was slow and probably looked like an injured animal of some sort.  My form is terrible and I know that for sure.  Since my legs were so sore from Sunday, I’m favoring the balls of my feet way more than distributing everything through the heel and the toe, but I’m going.  I’m doing it.  I. Was. RUNNNNINNNGGGG.

After each cycle, I would mentally take inventory of how I felt.  I remember not feeling winded and on the flipped side of that coin, feeling confused as to why I didn’t feel winded.  I didn’t feel cold, but my nose was runny.  I felt “happy-happy-happy”.

Now, running in the dark was a first for me.  Typically, if I go out for a walk, it’s always during the light of day.  I didn’t know what to expect during the early hours of the morning.  What I got was a big bunch of Fraidy Cat with a side order of I Dressed Like a Fucking Burglar.

I live one house away from a dead-end.  There is a street light that splits the property of us and our neighbor, at the actual dead-end, it’s dark and scary.  In the other direction there’s another street light, but then not another for several more houses so it was sort of eery.

I should also mention that I live near a seedy trailer park (not all trailer parks are seedy, y’all).  This is important to my story because of what happens next…

As I’m running from my house to the house 4 doors down, because it’s mostly lit, I notice that traffic is starting to stir coming in and out of the trailer park.  We’ve lived where we do for over two years and we’ve never had a problem with anyone, but when I realized that I was dressed more like a burglar than a runner, I started to worry that someone coming in or out would see me and try to run me over, shoot me or call the law on me.  I was wearing black from head to ankle and the only thing anyone could probably see was my shoes.

I don’t own real running gear.  I don’t have a reflective vest or blinky light that I can wear to let people know I’m out there.  Instead I have burglar clothes.  My burglar clothes will just have to work until I feel like I’ve accomplished enough of my training to reward myself with some real clothes.

Overall, I feel like I had an excellent workout.  I can’t wait until I’m not so sore and I can’t wait for the time change.  I still hate running, but I’m pretty proud of myself for just doing it.  Until my next run on Thursday, I’m going to take it easy.